stardustly | behind these four walls. ( vestigial ).

Behind the sturdy wall and within the four walls, relief should have swiftly followed once everything fell into place, ringing with the realisation of not having to run for once and remain on guard. But for Rick, he didn't know how to relax and only dread pooled thickly in his stomach, skin feeling far too tight around his trembling bones. He kept it all to himself, though, knowing how closely the Alexandrian inhabitants would keep an eye on all of them, just waiting for the one slip up. Just one would send them all back to the hungry grasps of the walkers and Rick couldn't be the one to make it happen. He needed to use a level head and ensure everyone found a place within the community of normalcy. At least, to a point, he never wanted them to lose the razor sharp edge they all had in case they needed it again.

Eyes moving around the living room, Rick took in each face of the group, seeing the cautiousness in their eyes and the blooming hope of what could happen for them now. They could live rather than just exist. He should have felt happy. Why didn't he feel happy? Shaking the lingering thoughts, Rick moved around to help Glenn with getting everyone settled. Deena told them they could have their own houses and space but for now everyone wanted to stay in one, which so happened to be the Grimes' residence. Everyone rested there except for one, something Rick didn't find surprising.

Squeezing Glenn's shoulder on his way out the door, Rick leaned against the railing. His eyes drifted down towards Daryl, hip cocked to one side slightly. "Gonna sleep out here?" Rick asked but it sounded more like a comment than a question in all honesty. He knew if he felt unease with the possibility of this, Daryl had to feel it even stronger. They kept on higher alert for the others to save them the weight of it. If they only knew the full extent of sacrifices it took to maintain such a balance.

"Never thought we'd see somethin' like this again. Real houses, streets to walk down without the threat of walkers." Rick shook his head, feeling the tightness closing in on his chest but he still kept it to himself. "What's your impressions?" He valued Daryl's opinions and the response would clue Rick in on if he should let go of his paranoia or not.

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Daryl just makes a 'hn' noise, but doesn't feel like elaborating about game; yeah, everything's been eating rotting flesh, but bear just has some weird magic quality about its meat. Not as bad as wolf (DO NOT EAT WOLF) but still. It'd probably be fine, though, they could just... marinate it. (In what, Dixon.) Anyway.

His eyebrows go way up at Rick's - flirtatious?! - behavior, visible even with his naturally stoic face and the hair over his eyes. What are you up to, Grimes?

"Carol don't want a repeat of the prison," Daryl points out. She'd been teaching the kids there, but in secret, and her desperation and vigilance had resulted in Rick banishing her. The only time Daryl's ever really argued with Rick since they left the farm had been over that. Carol's just... Carol. If she hadn't shown back up, Daryl doesn't know what he'd do. He can't pick between her and Rick, he just can't. "Ain't gonna happen, though."

Guilt worked its way over his face and he ducked his head slightly as memories seeped in and out of his mind. He wished he had the ability to change the past and correct so many wrongs he caused. The situation with Carol being the top of the list but at the time he thought it had been the right call. She had gone over the edge, regardless of intentions, something he knew all too well. Banishment had been too harsh but it had been in the efforts to stop retribution by other means. If he hadn't done it, they would have had worse back then.

"I can't ever make up for that but I'm tryin'," Rick commented, looking back up and over at Daryl. "It won't happen again. We've got to stick to each other as close as we can." Something just felt uneasy and Rick couldn't shake the foreboding lingering in the air. Things were going too well at the moment and he just couldn't trust it.

"What she's doin' now won't last. We can't just pretend to be what we think they want. Eventually they'll see through it." He gave a shrug and decided to try one more time to fire off a bolt. This time he adjusted himself and tried to hit higher than his earlier attempts. If push came to shove, he wanted to be able to use the crossbow in case he needed to. They couldn't have any weaknesses.

"You don't gotta make up for it," Daryl says, mood abstracted. "What's done is done. She knows that. I know that. She just cares, is all." And then he's quiet, listening to Rick and watching him mess around with the aim. Sheriff Grimes isn't too bad with it, though Daryl knows from experience (both personally and from teaching) that trying to hit anything moving or without much time to take aim is a longer undertaking.

(The last person he taught any was Beth.)

After a time, he sighs.

"That sounded suspiciously like faith in these people, by the by." Eventually they'll see through it.

As he took the shot, he also tried to take in Daryl's words, attempting to believe them but knew he wouldn't. He held guilt closely around his neck and in most ways it motivated him to keep pressing forward and never stopping from what needed to be done. It made him try harder and to be better, sometimes impossible but he knew the score. He knew how to undo himself to ensure the others would be okay.

"It ain't faith. I just know how these things go. They'll be watchin' us and just waitin'. They already wanna know what we're all 'bout. We give 'em any doubts and they'll run with it," Rick explained, walking over to get the bolt and load it back in. "My arms are gonna be so sore later," he remarked with a shake of his head. "Just like when I started usin' that axe all the time." It didn't hurt his arms now but in the beginning it sure did.

"We should hide some weapons round here just in case. It's close to Alexandria but not too close. Never know what might happen." He liked to prepare for every single disaster and he still didn't have a lot of belief of Alexandria being permanent. When did things ever go their way for long? "Want to set up plans just in case. Never know. Wanna go on a run tomorrow. See if we can find some things to grow. Maybe see if we can find anythin' to hunt. Make ourselves real important. Vital."

"They'll be watching like that if you don't quit actin' so paranoid and wound up," Daryl counters, though there's no hostility in his voice. He gets it, he does. He just wants to give Rick something else to consider, too. "It's broadcasting from you, man. Reckon I should find you in the dark just lookin' for the 'I don't trust nobody' rays."

He huffs as he steps closer again. "'Cause I know what they look like." Remember Daryl in the early days? What a trainwreck. He's still a trainwreck, but now he trusts his people. Daryl reaches over and lays a hand on the back of Rick's bicep, pushing his fingers into the muscle where it's going to hurt tomorrow. "Stretch in here. And yeah, sure. We'll find a spot to stash somethin'."

Letting out a slow breath, he muttered a few choice things under his breath but without any real heat to them. He knew Daryl had a point, loathing to admit it but even still he didn't exactly know how to relax. Taking it easy had never come naturally to him even before the world they knew sputtered and died only to rise again and again. "Anytime I let my guard down, things happen," Rick muttered, voice a little louder for Daryl to actually hear him. "Don't want to be caught unaware this time. Somethin' just don't feel right." Considering what they just went through, of course, things wouldn't feel right yet. Alexandria seemed too good to be true.

"I trust you," Rick responded, about to say more but Daryl touching him halted any and all possibilities or general thought. "That feels good," he murmured, nodding his head in a jerky kind of way because again how could he really think? It had taken them awhile to even reach a point of being somewhat close to one another. Daryl had been very, very skittish but loosened up as the months went on. A state Rick needed to reach again, apparently.

"Gotta be some place in between," Daryl says quietly. Some place between being wound up to the point of near-breaking, like Rick seems, and being totally defenseless. Inside, Daryl feels shattered - he's a complete failure, unable to hold things together at the prison, unable to find the Governor, unable to save Beth; his time being on the council was a sham - but he wants to hold it together for Rick. He deserves the support.

I trust you.

Yeah. Daryl can't fold now. He has to be okay.

"Tired yet?" He still has a hand on Rick's arm.

Rick wished he knew how to make a balance work but he didn't want to try anything different when things were finally going somewhat in their favor. Any false move could topple it all and he didn't want to risk it. If it meant he remained on edge so be it, he would do anything it took to keep the rest of them together. They had lost too many and couldn't stand any other heartache.

"Maybe for some," Rick responded with a slight nod of his head. "Yeah, I'm feelin' a little tired. Are you?" He looked over his shoulder to look at Daryl, taking him in for a moment. He never had much of a chance to just look and not try to have a purpose for it.

Letting out a soft breath, he tried to not lean into Daryl because he knew the man wouldn't accept it. "How are you, really, Daryl? You've gotta talk 'bout it sometime."

behind these four walls. ( vestigial ).

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