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[ Actually being raised by nuns sounded a little horrifying all things considered, at least, all the ones he knew were so strict and completely not amused by his antics. ]

I'm Catholic too. Irish Catholic if you want me to be a little more specific. Been a long time since I went to a service of confessional. Would probably have too much to say now. [ There were too many horrors already staining his life and he knew they would linger long after the war ended. ]

[ He gave a tiny shrug. ] You just assume I have any real talent. I might be terrible and just make things look worse.

[ When Matt reached for the bandages, Steve felt so awful for his quip. He would need to watch his word choice. ] Would you mind staying? Here? With me?

Me too, but you could probably tell from the name. [ Matt thinks back to the last time he had a chance to go to Confession, and realizes there was probably nobody around to give him Last Rites when he passed. Maybe that's the reason he's still here now. It isn't what he was taught to expect from Purgatory, but in a way it makes sense.

Especially when Steve makes his request. ]

You want me to keep watch? [ Instinctively, he stands a little straighter. Matt never has been good with idleness. ] Yes, sir. I'd be glad to.

[ Giving a small smile, Steve tried to find a semi-comfortable position on the bed to try and catch at least an hour of sleep. He couldn't even remember the last time he slept, which he knew would push too hard at the confines of the serum pulsing through his veins. ]

Thank you, Matt. [ The words were a drowsy muttered as his eyes grew heavy and after a few more seconds he fell into a mostly fitful sleep.

Exactly an hour later, Steve's eyes fluttered open and he let out a low groan. He sat up quickly, eyes darting around as he tried to remember his current location. Everything felt so fuzzy and he was still so tired. ]

[ Taking up his post in the doorway of the bedroom, Matt treats the request like he would have a real order to stand watch. Time doesn't seem to pass the same as it once did, or else he's lost his ability to keep track, but he does his best to be the sentry Steve needs in order to rest.

It's a surprisingly draining experience. By the time he hears the man rouse, his connection with the world has begun to fade. Matt himself feels tired, but he desperately wants to remain. ]

I'm still here, sir. [ Even to his own ears, he voice sounds weak, and he wonders what he must look like. If he can even be seen at all anymore. ] Nothing to report.

[ Blinking a few times, Steve climbed out of the bed and moved closer to where he heard the voice come from. The shadowy silhouette had faded somewhat, just a flickering there now. Odd. ]

Are you tired? [ Could ghosts get tired? Never having believed in ghosts in the first place, Steve lacked information about them. ] I can't really see you. More like an outline. I can hear you, though.

[ Maybe this is it. Maybe for some reason he had to be here for Steve, but now he isn't needed anymore and so he's going to fade away.

If his face could be seen, it would give away the sadness and fear Matt feels. He knows what's waiting for him, but while that's certainly part of his reluctance, mostly he just doesn't want to go. Doesn't feel ready to leave the world, even though there's little he can do to affect it. ]

I guess I am, in a way, sir. It's hard to describe, but it feels a little like coming off a three-day march with no sleep. [ Matt has always been a fighter, but he's not sure he can win this one. ] Did you rest?

[ A sort of sadness tugged at Steve, which felt silly given the entire situation. Bonding with a ghostly figure, what turn would his life take next? With a shake of his head, he moved a little closer, slowly reaching out a hand to test if he could feel anything. ]

I did thanks to you. [ Letting out a soft breath, he took a small step back. ] Maybe you should rest awhile yourself. We won't be leaving yet.

[ Would Matt cross over now? ]

[ If they're staying awhile longer, then resting is exactly what Matt doesn't want to do. There's no guarantee he'll be able to return, and for reasons he fully understands but doesn't want to think about, he isn't ready to give up this man's company. ]

If it's all the same, sir, I'd like to stick around. At least, as long as I can. [ One side of his mouth turns up in a wry, lopsided smile as he huffs softly. ] Not that I really have any control over it.

[ There's a question he's been pondering while Steve slept, and now seems like as good a time as any to seek an answer. ] Sir? When you asked me earlier about the date, I noticed that you didn't correct me. But I get the feeling I was a little off with my guess. I'd like to know.

[ Steve understood better than most, the need to not be alone and to have someone to talk and relate to. While they were from different eras, they were soldiers at their cores and it meant a lot more than words could easily express. So, with a nod of his head, Steve returned to the bed, patting the end of it for Matt to take if he wanted to. ]

Oh. Right. Yes. Are you really sure you want to know? [ The question nearly made him freeze, guilt worming around inside of him for keeping it to himself but it would only hurt the man - ghost - unnecessarily. ]

It's later than you think it is. But I'm sure time - uh - moves differently. This is a different war effort.

[ It takes Matt a moment to understand Steve's intentions when he pats the mattress, but once he realizes the invitation being offered, he nods and gives a warm smile. There's a hesitation when he reaches the bed, however. He hasn't tried touching anything solid since this man himself walked right through him on the stairs. What if he just falls through the bed and onto the floor.

But then, why isn't he just falling through the floor to the one below right now? Clearly there must be some rules to being a spirit.

Moving carefully, he sits on the edge of the bed, relaxing very slightly when it actually works and he doesn't just tumble straight through. ]

A different war? [ The very idea sends a shiver through him. How can there be another war? ] Are you...fighting for the French army? God, did we- did we fail?

Edited 2017-09-03 01:56 (UTC)

[ The warm smile nearly made the oncoming uncomfortable conversation worth it. How devastating the man must have been in his living years, so similar to the charm of Bucky. Something he never shared much to his chagrin.

Rubbing his hands along his pants, he tried to consider what to say without revealing too much and potentially making things worse. What if it harmed Matt in some way to know the truth? At the same time, he couldn't lie and pretend things weren't as dire.

What a headache. ]

Germany started something and America has joined the fight. It's the uh - 40s.

[ Just very basic details there but not withholding. ]

[ Another war with Germany, another war that's drawn America into the fray. And hardly more than a generation after the one they thought would end them all.

Will there be another after this one? Just war after war, until there's no one left to fight?

It feels hopeless, and the realization that there's truly nothing he can do now feels like a physical weight pressing down on him. ]

No one learns. [ His hands ball into fists where they rest on his thighs, frustration warring with despair. ] All that death, and no one learns.

[ Without really thinking twice about it, Steve reached out to place a hand on Matt's, not really considering the spirit aspect, just knowing he wanted to try and comfort someone he upset. But how could he when Matt had a point. No one had learned from the past bloody history and likely wouldn't from the current conflict either. ]

We just have to hope things will be different this time. That we're fighting for change. Real change.

[ Matt is so distraught, and the touch is so casual, that it almost doesn't register when Steve places a hand on his. The images of his fallen comrades, just a bunch of kids from the city who'd never been anywhere in their lives, flash through his mind. If he were capable of it, there would be tears soaking the bandage over his eyes.

Instinctively, he relaxes one hand, fingers stretching so that larger, warmer ones cover them. And then he realizes the significance of what's happened. ]

My God... [ His voice drops to a whisper, body frozen still. ] Please. Don't move...

[ eyebrows furrowed, Steve looked over at Matt with a dozen questions on the tip of his tongue but he swallowed them all down at the feel of fingertips flexing underneath his. How? It didn't make any kind of sense. Letting out a slow breath, he reached out his free hand to try and cup Matt's cheek. ]

C-can you feel that? I don't --

[ He's about to beg again for Steve to just stay still, fearful of losing that feeling of a hand on his, of human touch. But then there's another, a warmth against his face that he recognizes for the palm of a hand, and God. It feels like he's going to burst from the emotion. ]

Yes. [ Still whispering, and still remaining oh-so-still, in case the slightest movement on his part destroys everything. ] My God, I can.

[ there were so many thoughts going through Steve's mind but none of it made any kind of sense. The whole ghost aspect should have made touch impossible, right? ]

How is this actually happening?

I can feel you too. Just really cold.

[ he looked at Matt for a moment. ]

Maybe try to touch me?

I wish I understood.

[ Although maybe he doesn't. Understanding might change things, might take away this impossible moment.

Cold like a corpse, he thinks to himself, with a pang. But it's better than the isolation he felt before, so much better.

Hesitantly, he raises his hand toward Steve, using the sound of his voice to touch fingertips to the man's face, finding first his chin and then moving to an unshaven jaw and cheek. There's so much warmth, and Matt can only imagine how unpleasant his skin must feel in return. ]

[ It shouldn't have been possible but lucky for Matt, Steve happened to live on a foundation of the inconceivable. It brought them closer when it should have done anything but. Two soldiers attempting to find a light in the dark, one grasping for something and the other attempting to not let go. Poetic in its ultimate tragedy.

Staying still, Steve allowed for Matt to touch him. The chill while a little jarring did not bother him much at all. Probably less than it should have but he tried to keep an open mind. ]

This is incredible. [ Steve moved closer, seeing if he could feel even more. ] What does it feel like to you?

[ He's terrified that the wrong word or movement will burst the moment like a soap bubble. Ever so carefully, he brushes his fingers up Steve's cheek to find the corner of his eye and then his brow, up to the edge of his hairline. Matt's mouth falls open slightly as he takes all of it in. ]

Warm [ He smiles incredulously. ] You're so warm. And it's like I can feel the blood rushing under your skin. I feel your muscles when they move.

[ Raising his other hand, he lays it over Steve's chest. ] I feel your heartbeat.

[ The cool touch did not bother Steve at all because what else would he expect from a ghost? The intimacy of the touch, though, surprised him. No one had ever touched him in such a way or wanted to be close to him just for the sake of it. It made him lean bingo the touch, his heart pounding a little faster. ]

You don't feel cold in a bad way. [ He gave a tiny smile, still feeling so tired and wore out. ] I like it. I just wish we knew why it was possible. Why now - why me?

[ Matt would never have been this bold when he was alive, to touch someone, especially a near-stranger, so intimately. But there's nothing that can be done to him now, and Steve's reactions are encouraging rather than displeased. ]

Maybe there's something I'm supposed to do for you. Some way I can help you.

[ It would explain so many things -- why Matt hasn't passed on, why he wasn't roused into consciousness until Steve showed up. Why he seems to become more and more solid, or at least capable of being solid, the longer he's around. ]

[ For some reason, it made him feel a little guilty to have made things more complicated for Matt even if he didn't do it on purpose. How could he have known, realistically? But they now needed to focus on what the something could be to assist Matt with crossing ever and finding some peace. Having a task to focus on actually made him feel better.

Nodding his head, he tried to think but did not have any answers immediately come to mind. ]

You might be right but I'm not sure what it could be. Do you have any gut feelings? Anything you feel like you have to do right now?

[ He thinks hard, paying attention to anything that might seem like it's pulling at him or calling to him. As much as he's aware that God doesn't just hand out answers, it sure would be nice to get a little more obvious guidance right now.

After a minute, he shakes his head, shoulders slumping. ]

The only thing is just this feeling that I need to stay here, with you. That seems important.

[ Or else it's just Matt's personal desire to cling to the one person who can see and touch him and isn't afraid. ]

Is there something you need, maybe?

[ Still nothing made any bit of sense but should he really feel surprised at the moment? Spirits weren't supposed to be able to openly communicate or touch. Could Matt taste? A thought he probably did not need to have either.

Letting out a slow breath, he shook at his head. ]

I'm not sure but there has to be a reason. Maybe I'm supposed to do something for you. Figure out what kept you here. Might have something to do - [ His voice trailed off with a frown. ]

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murdocksboy - 2018-03-22 02:53 (UTC) - Expand