stardustly | open scenes post

Selkie bonds don't work like that. I - uh - can't just go my own way. [ Kai started to explain, pulling the sleeves of his jacket to cover his hands in a nervous habit he adopted as a child. The nerves at the moment higher than he could ever remember experiencing before. What if Neve vocally rejected him and turned away the bond? It just so happened to be one if the most painful deaths anyone could ever experience. ]

You'll feel the bond soon and won't be able to be apart from me. Selkie bonds are intense in the beginning.

[ Looking down at his hands, a tremble worked up his spine. ] I can - try to see if there's a way we can stand being apart.

[ the more he hears, the more kai stands there looking upset, the more upset neve gets too. it's a frustrated, confused kind of upset. he doesn't understand how this could just happen, how to get out of this, why it makes his chest hurt to see this person look like this.

he doesn't want to hurt anyone. but he doesn't want to be married, either. ]

I'm not — [ maybe they should go inside before they talk. he purses his lips, jerking his head back toward the inside of his place for kai to follow as he turns and heads for the living room. ]

[ Not what? He wanted to ask but Neve started moving inside because he had a chance to and he followed in after him as if on instinct. The selkie bond already clicking in then. Sooner than he anticipated but how would it work on Neve's end? They were different beings and all.

Standing there, he brought his arms around his torso, more like hugging himself than looking cocky with his arms crossed. ]

I'm sorry. [ Not that he had any true blame in the matter but Neve seemed so upset. ] I can ..make an audience with the guardian of the sea...see if he can do anything.

[ Oh, he could, undoubtedly, but it would cost him his selkie and he would have to leave behind everything in the process. ]

It's not going to be that simple, is it?

[ he figures... if that was an easy solution, then kai would have opted for this before telling him they were married and acting like it was a fact. if this bond is so magical and ingrained in selkies, getting to break one can't be as easy as asking.

neve sat on his couch, running a hand over his face.

he speaks quietly. ]

If I don't love you, will you die?

[ Rubbing his neck, he have a sad shake of his head because no it would not be so easy or actually doable. He might be able to work it so they could be apart but not actually break the bond. The facts were too engrained inside of them like he said. ]

Uh....eventually, yes. If you don't eventually fall in love with me I'll wither away and become seafoam. You'll feel agony for the rest of the time you're alive.

[ But chill, right? ]

[ this is awful. neve feels sick. he can't do that to someone, but he can't force himself to love someone either, can he? how does he make this work without sacrificing his freedom? he doesn't like being controlled, and this feels like it.

besides, he can't... imagine falling in love right now. he hasn't in years. ]

What if I already love someone?

[ selkies always dreamed big dreams of falling in love and finding the true bondmate, something akin to soulmates but so much deeper at the same time. For a second, Kai believed he found his and would finally make sense in the grander scheme of things but he hadn't. With Neve's reaction, not by a long shot.

Staring at his hands, he shook his head. ]

You wouldn't have felt drawn to the pelt if you loved someone already, you wouldn't have even seen it.

[ What a terrible thing. ]

I'm sorry. I'll try to find something. I'll go and leave you alone for now.

[ a wave of grief hits neve then. the factual proof that he's no longer in love with henry. even if part of his heart will always love him, he's moved on, and that hurts. it hurts in a way he's not equipped to deal with, and he's surprised by it. so what he says, turning away from kai, is something totally innocent. ]

Do you want something to drink?

[ he can go get him something from the kitchen and have a few minutes to breathe. to put himself back together so they can deal with this. ]

[ Something to drink? Neve wanted him to stay and not leave to try and find something to break their bond? He already knew the outcomes of such a thing but staying bonded to someone who didn't want him would hurt more than losing his selkie. Being human would shift and change everything and Neve would feel empty for the rest of his life but still more preferable.

Opening his mouth, he started to protest but stopped short from doing so. ]

Yeah, okay. A glass of water, please.

[ There had to be a reason Neve wanted him to stay and not just leave. ]

[ neve disappears into his kitchen in a hurry. there he takes down two glasses with trembling hands, fills them with water, and then closes his eyes. his hands grip the kitchen counter to steady himself.

he doesn't love henry anymore, apparently, or isn't in love with him anymore. he's married to this guy, who will die if he doesn't love him back. he's married to this guy, and neve will suffer if he doesn't work on their bond.

he needs weeks to process all of this.

he doesn't have that kind of time. it's his responsibility to make sure kai doesn't suffer. he knows heart break and grief. he doesn't want to inflict it on someone just because he did something without knowing what it meant.

when he steps out of the kitchen, he doesn't look any more put together, but he's not sure he could. he hands kai his drink. ]

This is a lot to take in.

[ So far, Kai kept failing with the whole being a husband ordeal but maybe in time he would learn to be better at it? To be fair, he never expected anyone to want to genuinely marry him and anticipated being alone all his days. Marrying for connection or alliance never appealed to him and like most water dwellers he dreamt of love. It just never happened for most and wouldn't for him now either. Neve would never honestly love him, feelings would appear from obligation.

His head lifted as Neve reappeared and his heart lurched at how distraught he appeared. He did that. What an awful husband he happened to be already. ]

I'm sorry. [ He responded, taking the glass with a soft 'thank you.' The entire situation wasn't his fault but he still felt the need to apologize for it. ]

I can still go for now if you want. Until things click in and you can't be away from me.

So we can both be miserable alone, and be more miserable because of that?

[ neve shakes his head. it's stupid. he's not ready to give up his privacy, his space, his life, not ready to let go of henry even if he apparently already has — but inflicting more pain on them both because they're shaken makes no sense.

he needs to be truthful, too. about the risk he poses. he swallows hard. ]

We need to talk more.

[ he sits down, wringing his hands. ]

[ Currently, it appeared they were in a lose/lose situation and it sunk his heart fully in his chest, lips turning downwards as he wrung his hands in his lap. All the while making himself smaller, on a subconscious sort of level.

If only he had a quicker solution to dissolve the bond but the ways were dark and would leave Neve in agony. He would suffer too but that seemed a lesser concern at the moment. ]

What ..is there something else you need to say? [ Kai tended to pick up on things pretty quickly going on around him. ]

[ he's never talked about this out loud. he takes in a shaky breath doing his best to place his words in order in his head. he's thought them over and over, thought only of this for so long, but it's hard to say out loud. ]

The last time I loved someone they were killed.

[ he blurts out. ]

Specifically to get to me.

[ The revelation explained a lot and Kai winced from the truth of it. No wonder his new husband panicked about the bond between them. He must have been sad as well to realise he had moved on.

Losing someone always hurt. ]

Well, if it helps a selkie bond is really ancient and will make both of us stronger! We can't be ended unless all the water on earth dries up. Whoever hurt you before...can't now if you accept the bond.

Edited 2018-07-29 23:03 (UTC)

Oh.

[ wait, that changes things. not that neve is suddenly going to be okay with being married to a stranger and being stuck to him for the rest of his life (he'll have multiple crisis over this eventually), but... if he's not putting his life in danger completely, it's different. ]

You can't die?

[ he can still get hurt, though, so it's not a fix all.

but it helps.

so much. ]

You won't... she won't be able to kill you?

[ The shift in attitude seemed almost night and day, which he should have probably focused on more but the happiness overtook any common sense. Being pushed aside hurt him, okay! So getting almost accepted meant everything to him.

Nodding his head, he offered a shy smile. ]

Nope, neither of us can die. You'll have the water fill you soon. I mean from the selkie bond. I can teach you how to use it.

[ A pause. ]

I'm not sure what I'll get from you.

[ this is so much information to take in.

he's relieved to learn kai can't die, but this news about selkie water magic or whatever it is kai is referencing... he can't really wrap his mind around it. ]

Water? Like your magic?

[ what will kai get of his, then? and why is he bound to share it, when his is so precious to him? he doesn't know what to feel about it, but for now his panic is lessened knowing kai can't be killed by the queen. ]

Yes, water magic as in selkie magic. We'll be bonded together through a water link. Anything you feel, I'll feel. We can communicate without speaking to one another and you'll earn some magic powers.

[ he paused, working a hard through his hair with a slight frown. ] I'm not - entirely sure how it will work since you-re not of the water. As far as I know no one of my kind has ever bonded outside of the sea. Well, and beyond mortals. They end up capturing my kind a lot.

What if I don't want you in my head?

[ the thought is more than terrifying. there's so much in there he's never shared. he can't bear the thought of someone he barely knows having access to his thoughts, his feelings. he wonders if kai will have access to his memories.

his chest hurts. those are his. his memories of henry, of the fae, they're his. ]

[ it did not take a bond or connection of any kind to see how upset neve had become. but over what exactly? just the mind connection or did it go deeper than that?

so many questions, so few answers. ]

I would only hear what you wanted me to feel. The - uh - emotions part can be blocked if it really bothers you that much. I won't - wouldn't have access to your memories or your mind as a whole. Just what you sent to me.

[ he relaxes again. ]

Okay.

[ his eyes avoid kai's, unsure, but wanting to explain himself somewhat. ]

It's not you. You're not — you're not my problem with this. [ kai seems nice enough. and it isn't his fault. ]

I just... I've been alone. For a long time. I'm not — I don't like sharing.

[ his eyes followed the movements, trying to puzzle them all out because of how much of a mystery neve remained. would he ever really work anything out? it seemed unlikely with how closed of the other one seemed.

something really terrible must have happened to him in the past. perhaps, a lot of terrible things. ]

Do you....not like sharing anything? That might be kind of important to know....and with what you'll be feeling....

What if I don't want to share?

[ his grief has been his own for so long. he doesn't even know how to talk about it, let alone how to let himself think of it as something that is anyone else's business to know.

it's been his, all along, the one thing tying him to henry. ]

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