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1. They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
2. You almost got us killed!
3. Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
4. Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
5. ( text her ).
2. You almost got us killed!
3. Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
4. Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
5. ( text her ).
1. Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
2. YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
3. Stop texting me about your public sex.
4. Your boobs are like a folk legend.
5. ( text her ).
2. YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
3. Stop texting me about your public sex.
4. Your boobs are like a folk legend.
5. ( text her ).
1. Had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night.
2. You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight.
3. Let the clothes fall where they may.
4. I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
5. ( text her ).
2. You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight.
3. Let the clothes fall where they may.
4. I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
5. ( text her ).
1. The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
2. I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
3. I left the party 20 minutes ago ... just thought I would tell you so you wouldn't think I fell in the river again.
4. Did you replace all my t-shirts with crop tops?
5. ( text him ).
2. I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
3. I left the party 20 minutes ago ... just thought I would tell you so you wouldn't think I fell in the river again.
4. Did you replace all my t-shirts with crop tops?
5. ( text him ).
1. Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
2. We just got back. I shouldn't have to come pick you up from the police station already.
3. I don't know if you remember, but you kissed me last night. Then, you slapped me and said 'Don't take so long next time.'
4. I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
5. ( text him ).
2. We just got back. I shouldn't have to come pick you up from the police station already.
3. I don't know if you remember, but you kissed me last night. Then, you slapped me and said 'Don't take so long next time.'
4. I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
5. ( text him ).
1. I just want to give you orgasms and self esteem.
2. But why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
3. Don't seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
4. I can't remember anything after we got smoothies.
5. ( text her ).
2. But why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
3. Don't seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
4. I can't remember anything after we got smoothies.
5. ( text her ).
strawberry. the only decent poptart flavor.
For which part? The alcohol scent or the need for sanitizing?
I will say it was quite the welcome. One I didn't expect.
I don't think I'd use good in a sentence with you anytime.
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