stardustly | general memes

[ magnus would make sure alec knew these things were more than small by displaying them as often as possible. that keychain and his scarf... now two of his favorite possessions of all time. alec understands, he's sure, how strange and new this is to him as well. that neither of them had known a love like this before each other.

he squeezes alec's hand right back, letting out a pleased sigh. ]

You read my mind. [ sharing a bath and maybe feeding each other chocolates? the dream!! magnus' own personal heaven, even. ]

Let's eat first? We can make it quick.

[ unable to hold it back, alec laughed at the eagerness and the almost childlike wonder Magnus always had when presents entered the mix. It made him always question how others treated him in the past.

How could they not see what he saw?

Smile remaining on his face, he led them over to the table and food. ]

Magnus -- good things come to those who wait. This all smells so good.

[ he was not looking at the food when he said that. Unlocked: coy level! ]

[ oooh, mr ligthwood! someone's been learning. magnus looks pleased as punch, ducking his head and grinning while giving alec's arm a little squeeze. ]

Don't start making me swoon.

[ they have food to eat! speaking of, he's already placed everything, so they just need to sit down and get to eating. ]

I know all about good things come to those who wait. [ his turn to be coy, as he looks meaningfully over at alec when saying that. it had taken centuries to find him, but he'd found him. his good thing. the most good thing in his life. ]

[ he learned from the best, picking up a thing or two along the way. Making it somewhat work through his awkwardness.

Moving to pull out magnus' chair, he gave a shy smile. ]

Now who is doing the swoon thing. Getting sappy on me, Magnus. [ even with the tease, the flush in his cheeks said far more. He ran his hand over magnus' shoulder as if he found it difficult to move away from him at the moment. ]

[ magnus sat down and looked up at alec with the fondest love in his face at the hand over his shoulders. he understood. he, too, didn't want to be too far from alec at all right now.

but their food was still hot, and they'd be more able to focus on each other once they'll have eaten. it'll give magnus a boost of energy from all the emotion from earlier. ]

I can't help it, with someone like you eating dinner with me in Paris!

[ to think he nearly denied himself the pleasure and life changing affirmations of being with Magnus in the first place. He nearly married Lydia but had luckily found a way back to not only Magnus but himself too.

It meant everything.

Shaking his head, he moved to sit in his own chair. No use depriving Magnus of much needed food and rest. ]

Eat up, Magnus. And no more using magic for the night. Everything the normal way from here on out.

[ magnus could protest that. easily. he opens his mouth and almost does, in fact. but then he remembers this is alec. and alec is looking out for him, not trying to make this a fun game or some sort of punishment.

he just cares. and he wants magnus to take care of himself too. ]

Okay. No magic. [ he starts putting food onto his plate, watching alec. ] I'll try, anyway.

[ carefully focused eyes watched Magnus filling up his plate and he waited for the man to finish before he started to do the same. Magnus' well being meant a lot to him, especially with how things currently were. He wouldn't be able to protect him from anything coming and it gutted him. ]

Have you ever gone a whole day being magic free?

[ he wanted to know everything about Magnus and his past, no matter what it turned out to be. starting to eat, he kept his eyes on Magnus. ]

Are you feeling okay?

[ magnus stilled his eating to put a hand over alec's. ]

I'm okay. Much better now. [ getting all that off his shoulders had helped. immensely.

he gave alec's prior question some thought, humming around a mouthful of food. there had been times where he'd hidden his magic more, mingling among mundanes, but he still made use of his magic, in subtle ways. ]

Not for a long, long time. I usually don't last very long without using a little of it.

[ Guilt continued to plague him, churning up the contents of his stomach because he should have known. How could he doubt with all they shared and what he knew could happen? It made him sick and he didn't know how Magnus forgave so easily and openly.

Tilting his hand to squeeze Magnus' hand, his mind drifted back to how close he has been to nearly losing Magnus. ]

What small things do you use it for? Would I be surprise?

[ there were things he wanted to say but he kept swallowing them down. ]

[ magnus would want to soothe alec if he knew he was feeling guilty and awful. magnus loved him too much to want to let him stew in that. as they eat, he keeps returning his hand to alec's, squeezing it or linking their fingers together. ]

My glamour, to start with. For my eyes. [ but he doesn't have it on now, nor does he need it around alec, so that's okay. ] Sometimes my make up. Sometimes my hair.

[ he looks at alec curiously to see if any of those surprise him. he thinks they aren't all that shocking. ]

[ Likely the guilt would stay awhile, mingling with a dozen or so other things he couldnt seem to look past. But how could he even he felt responsible? It didn't help in this instance when he kept picturing the desperation and the pleading. All of which he almost didn't hear in time.

Squeezing Magnus' hand, he placed a kiss on his palm. His food mostly just being picked over. ]

I figured. No one can have hair that perfect without help.

[ Only a tease and his smile showed as much. But it quickly faded away. ] I'm - glad to be here with you but I can't stop thinking about - and I don't want to make this about me but Magnus I'm sorry. So damn sorry.

Edited 2018-01-04 18:55 (UTC)

[ when alec's smile faded, so did magnus'. he felt his stomach drop, a little. he'd put it out of his mind for now, but he doesn't blame alec for bringing it back up. not even a little.

he reached out, placing a hand on alec's cheek. ]

Alexander... [ this was hard. he wanted to say it was okay, but it wasn't. this had dredged up his worse memories, made him relive them. he'd been tortured.

but it was one thing: ] It wasn't your fault.

I should have known. I almost lost you, Magnus, and you just - forgive me - just like that? [ Alec shook his head, not really wanting to bring it up but he didn't want to let things fester either. ] If you're mad, disappointed, hurt -- you need to tell me. We have to -

[ He shook his head again, getting up from the table to look out at the view. Paris was always so beautiful but saddness roamed underneath his skin and he couldn't just move past it. ]

Can Warlocks do something like that too? Change bodies? Hide like that? I don't know enough about your world, Magnus. Their worlds.

[ magnus dropped his hands into his lap and watched alec stand to go to the window, deciding to give him a bit of space, even if he wants to reach out. ]

I do forgive you, [ magnus said softly, almost like an apology. he's sorry if that, somehow, doesn't feel true, or enough. ] Because I love you. I know you had doubts. I could see them. But I also know you were trained your whole life to do what you were told.

It's the Clave I'm mad at. [ and that's the truth. however upset and hurt magnus is, it's the clave, azazel and valentine he's angry with more than anyone. and alec... he can't deny it didn't hurt. a lot. and it was terrifying. but he's not mad.

he looks up at alec again, watching him. he shakes his head. ]

It's complicated, powerful magic. I wouldn't say it's something we can do, at least not easily, and not many know how. [ he's a bit scared, of where this might be going. but he wants to answer any questions alec has honestly. ]

What do you want to know?

[ With a deep exhale of breath, he tried to allow for the words to sink in and to accept them. But he just didn't know if he could forgive himself too easily, especially with all pain it caused for both of them. ]

The Clave is wrong about a lot, Magnus. All that training - all that -

[ How could he blindly follow the rules and regulations for so long? It made him wonder how much more damage they all caused. It heightened his resolve to make a change but he needed to know all the ways to. ] I love you, Magnus, I do.

I needed to know if this could happen again and who might be at risk for it. We need to stop all of them but I don't know everything we're battling. You know more than I do.

[ He turned to look at Magnus, feeling pings of guilt rushing through him. ] I shouldn't have brought it up I'm sorry.

[ it was a lot to hear alec express that about the clave, even if magnus knew it to be true. alec was so dutiful and dedicated, if he could see what was wrong with the clave... things could change, couldn't they?

it gave magnus hope.

even if alec was right and they don't know everything they're fighting against. magnus might have a lot of knowledge and experience with demons and people like valentine, but there were still a lot of unanswered variables in the equation. ]

What's done is done, [ he says, but with no trace of bitterness. it's okay that alec brought it up. in fact magnus wants to make sure alec understands that. ]

We're in this together, yes? It's okay if you don't feel good about it either. You can talk about that.

[ Ever since a young age, Alec had almost blindly followed the instructions given to him, so fiercely dedicated to live up to certain expectations. But he never had, always falling just a little short of finding the kind of esteem Jace grasped onto so easily. It only made him work harder, though, determined to have more of an influence. Not because he thought he deserved it, more like he had open eyes to see the truth of things. ]

I never want that to change. You talk to me anytime you need to even if you don't think I'll like hearing it, okay?

[ There were so many things that could tear them apart and it scared him. Walking over to Magnus, he kissed the top of his head. ]

Still want that bath?

[ when alec kissed his head and magnus leaned against him for a moment, placing himself against his chest as if they were sharing a hug. just a moment, because he wants to find alec's eyes again to reaffirm what they're saying. to promise that he feels the same, and hears alec's words well. ]

I will. [ his serious expression turns soft again, and he cups alec's cheek. ] Oh, my sweet Alexander.

[ the smile turns cheeky. ]

I'm never not up for a bath.

[ The words were a promise and one Alec did not intend to ever break. There were too many uncertain things in life and he did not want their relationship to become yet another one.

Laughing, he nodded his head. ]

I had a feeling you would say that.

[ Grabbing for the bag, he reached for Magnus' hand to bring them to the bathroom and begin with preparations there. ]

Back to taking our minds off things. Sorry I went there again. I just - have a hard time letting it go.

[ magnus helped alec get the bath ready, starting to run the water at the perfect temperature with the wave of his hand, letting it fill up. ]

It's okay. I understand.

[ he's had a hard time letting it go, too. but right now he wants to focus on the good, healing things in his life. like alec. like a bath. like alec in the bath with him.

magnus starts undoing the buttons of alec's shirt. ]

If you need to talk, we can talk.

[ Or course, Magnus could just wave his hand to make the tub begin to fill with water. Sometimes the whole magic thing still took him by surprise but he gave a slow smile all the same. It came in very handy sometimes. ]

I know. I just didn't want to bring it up again so soon. I think I've said all I need to say.

[ Especially for that night. They fled all the way to Paris for distance from it. Reaching out, he started trying to undo Magnus' buttons and zippers. ]

You wear such complicated things.

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